John's singing to me in the background. To the tune of "It's a hard knock life." On a loop of just the chorus. This is what we do- and then we get pieces of songs stuck in our heads all day and all night. It's like a disease. Earlier, it was "Sweet Caroline" but the words were replaced with a homage to our cat Loki instead. These songs are some of my favorite things.
I miss it. I miss the fun, I miss the people, I miss the freedom. I'd think this was the price of getting old, but I think it's the price of feeling scared. Afraid to follow my heart, afraid to really live to the fullest of the full. I get glimpses, and those glimpses are lasting longer, but I want to live in the glimpse.
So I'm going to close my eyes and sprinkle fairy dust in the air and click my heels together three times and wish for me to be me. And when I wake up and open my eyes, you'll all be there. We'll be together and in love- in love with life, with ourselves, and each other, and it will be beautiful.
